I prepared for the London Marathon by eating pies and chips and drinking heavily.

Lost my job at Blackpool Pleasure Beach for no good reason

Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?

I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Why did the stadium get hot after the game?

I’m on a seafood diet.

Why did the coffee file a police report?

How does a penguin build its house?

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?